Nicolas - I miss you!

In an old city that’s new to me. I have grown up here but I have lived else where and am back here. Its home, yet its not. A very strange place. Stranger still because my heart is where my dog is. And my dog is not with me. I miss my Nico. I miss him so much that at odd moments, I tear up. My throat constricts and I simply want to see him. I just want to touch his soft warm body and feel his heartbeat thudding under my palm. I want to see him on his back with his paws in air, asking me for a belly rub… I want to hug him and bug him, cuddle him and run with him. I want to take him out on a walk and come home, wipe his paws and hear him drink water. I want to feed him. I want to peel the eggs, mix the rice and put the Pedigree and call out, “Nikki…Nikki…come here! Come and eat now!” I want to have him sniff my hands and lick it clean and then walk him to his bowl and watch him eat his meal, slurp some water and come to me and sniff my feet as I am working in the kitchen… looking at the shelf where his treats are kept. Demanding that I give him some after dinner snack. I miss the happiness on his face when he sees me give him those treats.

I miss the ability to just go up to him and rub his back and have him move this way and that so I can rub him where he wants. I miss rubbing his snout and scratching his ears… I miss looking at his eyes and seeing his smile. I miss his wagging tail and jumping on me as soon as I enter the house. I miss him sniff me all over to find out where I have been.

I miss irritating him on weekends. I miss holding his paws while he is on his belly and make him ‘make his moves’ while I listen to a song I like. I miss picking out ticks from his toes, I miss brushing his teeth, I miss playing with his teeth. I miss my dog. I miss my Nico. He is the dissolver of my tensions. He makes me feel I am a better person even if I am not. He makes me better than I am by just being him. He makes me go out when I feel low and he understands when I need ‘me’ time and allows me to sulk. He sits by my side when I am feeling low. He licks me when I am crying.

I hope he doesn’t miss me much but I know he misses me a lot and that makes me miss him a lot more. I just want to be with my Nikki.